Recruiters – what exactly are you for?
I was recently looking for a new contract, hopefully something leveraging what I’ve been doing recently (SCRUM) and outside what are usually seen as my core skills (perl, Hudson). This brought me into copious contact with that subspecies of human we call the “recruitment consultant”, “agent” or more collquially “pimp”.
What I’ve found has staggered me. Years ago, I had one agent in Bristol that took the time to find the kind of left field candidate I was looking for and since then I’ve built a relationship with a couple of agents at one agency who are also good about knowing what I’m looking for.
Anyhow, this recent contact has left me staggered that most of these people even remember to breathe. Here’s a list of transgressions and stupidities:
- Don’t lie to me that you have jobs. The perl world is small enough we know who is hiring and who their sole agents often are. If you want to fly a kite, find a field.
- Don’t send me job specs that have NONE of the major skills I have. Or indeed want to have. I’m looking at you Monarch IT and your C#/.NET job.
- Do your research. £200 a day for a senior developer/SCRUM master, in London, with immediate start will just make me laugh and hang up. Even if I’m between contracts.
- If you call me, have caller ID. That helps me file you away and when you call back I know who you are without all the preamble.
- If you call me and I don’t pick up, LEAVE A MESSAGE. Especially if you don’t have caller ID or if your firm shares one dedicated number for outgoing calls. Otherwise you won’t make your commission.
- “Hampshire” is not a location. It stretches from Fleet to Southampton with many a hayrick in between.
- Make sure your job ad or email is literate. You are not a 17 year old writing an SMS. Or maybe you are? Get “its” and “it’s” right and spell the technologies you’re hiring for correctly. As soon as you write “Pearl” you’ve lost your commission. I may be principled, but I’m not a “principle programmer”. We’re all poking fun at you when you make mistakes like this.
- Please make sure your phone doesn’t make it sound like you’re calling from the moon
- I appreciate you’re Indian, probably better educated than I am and have a better grasp of English and cricket than I do, but if I can’t penetrate your accent, then we might as well be speaking different languages. There are classes. Watch My Fair Lady.
- If I tell you I’m not interested in a position, do NOT keep calling me offering a better rate. I’m NOT interested for any money.
- When you enter a job, put in the location of the job, not your office. Sheesh.
Got any other pet hates? How could they do what they’re getting paid or better?